And so this is X-mas
And what have you bought?
That last toy the shop had
For which you all fought
A present for X-mas
For your little boy
Can't see why he wants it
This crap plastic toy
A very merry X-mas
And please make sure that
The batt'ries ain't missing
Or leaking, or flat

And so this is X-mas
For cash you're now strapped
For presents and whisky
Have both been unwrapped
And so happy X-mas
For purchasing junk
For eating and bingeing
And getting so drunk
A very merry X-mas
And a barrel of beer
Let's hope it's a good one
Not fizzy or queer

And so this is X-mas (Mess all over)
And what have we done (Got to clean it)
We've opened our presents (Strewn all over)
Broken every one (And I mean it)
And so that was X-mas
Now kiss it goodbye
The year gone so quickly
Hell, doesn't time fly?
A very "merry" X-mas
With Champagne and beer
Let's hope you get sober
Before the new year

Mess all over
Wrapping paper
Mess all over
Now...