Gave his bags all back, and asked him to go
To get his butt out of the door
Told him another plane he'd have to fly
Cuz' the rules he'd broken with his cell phone
Attendant stated, no anger of tone
Please turn your cell phone off, sir you know why

Well, kiss this, I'm Alec B.
A famous celebrity..
Big star of "30 Rock" that tv show
Ain't leaving from this jet plane
In this seat I paid for, I'll remain,
..Please Sir, you've got to go...

This airplane is sitting on the ground
My cell stays on till skyward bound
You should kiss my feet, cuz' I'm a king
I could have signed an autograph for you
I'm an icon and a treasure, too
Don't make me get you fired for this thing..

Hey, kiss this, I'm Alec B.
A famous celebrity..
Big star of "30 Rock" that tv show
Ain't leaving from this jet plane
In this seat I paid for, I'll remain,
..Please Sir, you've got to go...

I deserve a whole lot more respect,
I'm not just some old smart "Alec"
To SNL, great impressions bring..
Anywhere I go, do what I please
You're a little creep, fall on your knees
Before I knock you out there on the wing

Now kiss this, I'm Alec B.
A famous celebrity..
Big star of "30 Rock" that tv show
Ain't leaving from this jet plane
In this seat I paid for, I'll remain,
..Please Sir, you've got to go...

Well now, I think I shall leave here
Find a flight, where me, they'll cheer
Don't need to waste my time no more, today
Ta ta, and adieu, you crumb
Bug someone else, you sorry bum
Now eat my dust, move out of the way..

And get this, I'm Alec B.
You're a little no-body
You'll envy me on that red carpet glow
I'm leaving from this jet plane,
Cuz' I simply choose not to remain
There's better flights, I know