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Song Parodies -> "Cough and You Sneeze"
Original Song Title:
"Call Me the Breeze"
(MP3)Original Performer:
J. J. Cale
Parody Song Title:
"Cough and You Sneeze"
Parody Written by:
Bob Gomez
The Lyrics
This is a response parody to Aaron Dodson's 2007 "Call Me Diseased," which contains the great line, "Ain't got no antibodies..."
Cough and you sneeze,
Get away from me, asshole.
Yeah, when you cough and then sneeze,
Social distance is my goal.
I suspect that you got it,
Do not touch my ten foot pole.
COVID's stuck to your sweater,
Droplets all on your sleeve.
Brother, if you mail me a letter,
Spray that stamp with TSP.
Initial tests were pretty shoddy,
So go retest ASAP.
Oh, by the way, lend me some TP.
Well, I got that keen insight, baby,
I got your contacts on my phone.
Well, I know you've seen my wife lately,
Zoom recording's two hours long.
Well, and what's this in your travel history?
Lombardy, Wuhan to Hong Kong???
Though I ain't as old as Regis,
I'm afraid of the unknown.
Though Trump's mistakes were egregious,
Now I'm stuck with Mario Cuom'.
But no matter how high my fever,
Don't put me in no nursing home.
Well, now, it's COVID-19
Coast to coast and 'round the globe.
Well, now, I'm self-quarantined
In my pj's and my robe.
Wash my hands twice an hour,
Not allowed to pick my nose.
COVID-19.
Get away from me, asshole.
Yeah, when you cough and then sneeze,
Social distance is my goal.
I suspect that you got it,
Do not touch my ten foot pole.
COVID's stuck to your sweater,
Droplets all on your sleeve.
Brother, if you mail me a letter,
Spray that stamp with TSP.
Initial tests were pretty shoddy,
So go retest ASAP.
Oh, by the way, lend me some TP.
Well, I got that keen insight, baby,
I got your contacts on my phone.
Well, I know you've seen my wife lately,
Zoom recording's two hours long.
Well, and what's this in your travel history?
Lombardy, Wuhan to Hong Kong???
Though I ain't as old as Regis,
I'm afraid of the unknown.
Though Trump's mistakes were egregious,
Now I'm stuck with Mario Cuom'.
But no matter how high my fever,
Don't put me in no nursing home.
Well, now, it's COVID-19
Coast to coast and 'round the globe.
Well, now, I'm self-quarantined
In my pj's and my robe.
Wash my hands twice an hour,
Not allowed to pick my nose.
COVID-19.
©Bob "Hola, ¿Cuomo Está?" Gomez 2020
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Voting Results
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Voting Breakdown
The following represent how many people voted for each category.
| Pacing | How Funny | Overall Rating | |||||||||
| 1 | 18 | 18 | 18 | ||||||||
| 2 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 3 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 4 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 5 | 6 | 6 | 6 |
User Comments
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Amazing, stuff, Bob. Very funny, and informative at the same time.
Hey Bob, I think somebody needs a "Nice Brand New Glove"! April 21, Song Lyrics section
Achoo!
Thanks, guys, "I've Got A One-Day Kind of Glove" already.
The author of the parody has authorized comments, and wants YOUR feedback.
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