Thought at the end that I'd clean up my debits
Told Jabba he's gonna get paid
Falcon not up to speed, Rebel Force had more needs
Well, as long as they paid good, I said "What the hey!"

Planet Hoth was bad, the worst of my dreams
Almost lost Luke with no heat
Thought she'd miss me, thought she'd kiss me, a vulgar bleat
Insulted my face with her voice, though still sweet

Nerf herder in Leia's eyes (Leia's eyes)
You'd think that the girl would say something nice (demonized)
Why couldnt Kenobi give me some advice? (second prize!)
I'm just a Nerf herder in Leia's eyes

Heard about the old-time Jedi men
They'd say that "Force" thing again and again
They're weird, I dread the stuff got in Luke's head
But that Princess treats that kid like he was her kith and kin!

Times have changed for smugglers these days
At the starports, there's something I need
Share my locker with Chewbaccer, I catch the fleas
Right now that Alderaan sensation is what I need

Nerf herder in Leia's eyes (Leia's eyes)
It's so unfair, I'm flustered, be nice (inside cries)
This universe has no better guys (big surprise!)
Yet I'm a Nerf herder in Leia's eyes

We did fine hiding in that grotto
And where was Luke at? I really just do not know
Stuck in a pickle, "Just get us out of here!"
Why was she so flighty? Ship's hard to steer while I'm

Nerf herder in Leia's eyes (Leia's eyes)
I'm just happy she did not say it twice (fantasize!)
Cloud City was a big sacrifice (will suffice!)
I was a Nerf herder in Leia's eyes
Can't be a Nerf herder in Leia's eyes
I'm just a Nerf herder in Leia's eyes

Trapped, entwined, no thanks to Lando
She said she loved me, and I replied "I know!"
Hey what's that tickle, there's a cold draft here
Oh God, Carbonite, get me outta here!