(as sung by Dubya Bush)

(instrumental intro)

Litigator... oh, could you help me win this fall?
See, my numbers in the last poll in Florida faded!
I'll run the U.S.A, if my brother gets his way
That's why he said we'd do well; the right wing's waited

(Chorus:)
This is not the way Jeb said it would go
We're so upset 'bout that
Just stop Gore from having the votes recounted
Have Harris call it, and set a deadline
Go to court... to overcome Al Gore
We'll pay you very well
And I wish your words could just convince the judge
Or we can win on appeal
'Cause that's how the Bushes steal!

(instrumental break)

Litigator... oh, could you help me win this fall?
'Cause I can't heed the numbers, and Gore might beat me
They're seeing through my lies
Though Gore is running out of time
You think the Supreme Court is going to come and save me?

This is not the way Jeb said it would go
We're so upset 'bout that
Just stop Gore from having the votes recounted
Have Harris call it, and set a deadline
Go to court... to overcome Al Gore
We'll pay you very well
And I wish your words could just convince the judge
Or we can win on appeal
'Cause that's how the Bushes steal!

(instrumental break)

Litigator... we can't forget about this fall
It's so unfair - the recounts that I must walk through
Think we'll stall for time
Scalia can get me out of this bind
Help me do the crime!

This is not the way Jeb said it would go
We're so upset 'bout that
Just stop Gore from having the votes recounted
Have Harris call it, and set a deadline
Go to court... to overcome Al Gore
We'll pay you very well
And I wish your words could just convince the judge
Or we can win on appeal
'Cause that's how the Bushes steal!

(instrumental ending)