Made some potato knishes
and bought gefilte fishes
We must try if we are able
To set up a kosher table
We cannot have meat with cheeses
Guess that means no Take-out pizzas
Mom invited the Rabbi, oy vey
Kissing up like that annoys me

If we can just get through this Rosh Hashanah
and fool Rabbi Mike once more
We hid all the pork in the cooler chest
with that ham we won't get caught, caught, caught
If we can just get through this Rosh Hashanah
and not be exposed as frauds

Hide that can of Dad's Beef Jerky
'Cause no rabbi was observing
When the steer it's from was slaughtered
Farmer John's not Kosher, for sure
Brother Pete loves pickled pigs feet
When the Rabbi's here; must not eat
G_d, we're lying to our Rabbi
Will we go to Hell when we die?

If we can just get through this Rosh Hashanah
and fool Rabbi Mike once more
Hid all the pork in the cooler chest
with that ham we won't get caught, caught, caught
If we can just get through this Rosh Hashanah
and not act like we are goys

Serve the salmon with some fresh lox
Make no reference to last night's ham hocks
If he finds out he'll die from the shock
What Mom told him is such a big crock
Oy vey, Mama, why did you lie, eh?
If he finds out what will you say?
Rabbi's; you should not deceive them
Might not say "L'Chaim" when leaving

If we can just get through this Rosh Hashanah
and fool Rabbi Mike once more
Hid all the pork in the cooler chest
with that ham we won't get caught, caught, caught
If we can just get through this Rosh Hashanah
and not be exposed as frauds
When he's gone we'll pig out on that pork
drink some milk and melt some cheese on top

If we can just get through this Rosh Hashanah
and fool Rabbi Mike once more

(Instrumental break)

(Good-bye, Rabbi)
(Good-bye, Rabbi)
(Good-bye, Rabbi)

(Repeat out to FADE)