[instrumental intro]
{Sneezing & coughing sounds during intro}

I’m achy and I have a fever
I don’t feel well
As I lay here on my ass
man, I hurt like hell
My whole body’s killing me
and so I yell
And my head feels like the inside
of a ringing bell

I’m achy, I feel ill
Now I whine
“Doc, give me pills”
But, my new doctor
won’t refill
Got some I can borrow?

This is a load of crap
and now I’m getting peeved
I am getting cross
that bastard won’t help me
I whine and I moan
but still he will not heed
I’ll remember this
when next he sends a bill to me

Prescription; would not fill
Need to find
someone with pills
I mustn’t fail
This is the pits
"Hey, hon, bring me some tea"

[instrumental break]
{Sneezing & coughing sounds here}

I lay here; I can’t sleep
oh, man, I feel like 'poo'
‘Cause this crusty, old fart doctor
is a mule
Wants to see me first
before he will approve
the pills I need to ease this pain
I think that’s screwed

I’m achy and have chills
Damn that swine
Because he still
won’t fill my script
for some pain pills
I hurt so bad; I cry