Yeah we dined out just the other day
In a restaurant that’s way out of the way
The band was so loud that you can’t hear what you say
On the water, it may drift away

It was disgusting and I saw mold as it grew
I said “I’m gonna go and spew, Jill
You know I’m gonna go and spew”

‘Cause the cat’s in the kitchen and licking the spoon
Food makes me feel like it’s now the full moon
Let’s be going home ‘cause I don’t feel well
You know I feel like hell, Jill, you know I’m just feelin’ like hell

Well my stomach turned with all of that food
Ball of cheese makes me make noise considered rude
Think I learned not to go to that place no more
Oh, getting through all the food was a chore

And I ran away and found the bathroom door
Said “I’m not gonna eat no more
Oh no not gonna eat no more”

‘Cause the cat’s in the kitchen, dirtying the spoon
And now the toilet’s seeing my full moon
When can we go home? Oh I don’t know when
Hope I’ll feel better then, Jill, I hope I will feel better then

Well the band was playing all these songs we know
I struggled to eat, had to take some home
So it’s in the fridge, and it’s waiting for me
Then I’m in the bathroom a.m. at 3

What I’d really like now is to puke it all out now
I feel like I
Just ate a whole cow

‘Cause the cat’s in the kitchen, I hear its meow
I feel so full, get me outta here now
This place is the worst, we’re not coming back
This place is on the wrong track, yeah,
This place has fallen off the tracks

It was so tough to find, and not worth it at all
You get better stuff at the mall
Why doesn’t that place just sink into the sea
I guess tourists must be going there constantly

But we won’t be going back there, bid it not fond adieu
“It wasn’t nice going to you, no
Really not nice going to you”

And as we went through the door, it occurred to me
That I had lost my keys
Oh no, I lost my keys

Yeah, the cat’s in the kitchen, feel like a buffoon
We’re now stuck here, don’t think that we’ll leave soon
When will we get home, Jill? I don’t know when
We need some barf bags ‘til then, Jill, we’re gonna need barf bags ‘til then