Verse 1: I used to read all minds, son
I could tell what’s in their brains
Just like a Vegas lounge act
Oh the info that I could gain
Was a special man
But now I am old
And now my gift is gone
Don’t know what I did wrong
Don’t know how, it’s just been so long
But I was the greatest with my mind strong

Verse 2: When I could read all minds, son
I worked for the government
I would interrogate bad guys
And I’d hear what’s in their heads
Shouldn’t tell you this, cuz it’s top secret
But I don’t give a damn!
This is a woeful tale
Don’t have the power anymore
And that fact is too hard for me to take

Bridge: I’d mystify, like a magician
Except the fact that I’m cooler
Magic isn’t real
Did I say that? That is my bad
I didn’t know you believed in that crap
It’s out now son, just grow up
And yes I know, that you are but three
But how can this be?
I worked when I was three!
I don’t know what I can say
This wouldn’t have came
If I could just still read minds!

Verse 3: When I could read all minds, son
Like the time I met your mum
We met for drinks and dancing
Heard her think I’ve got a nice bum
In a restaurant I could hear her thoughts
She wants me to propose
But all good things have to end
The power left, and then your mom
Without mind-reading, girls I don’t understand
Those women don’t make sense
I never thought I would see this day
And I’ve got to say that I just don’t get it
There is something that I’ve caught
And I had this thought
Read minds or girls think you’re dense!