At first I was afraid, I was petrified
Kept thinking driving on the interstate was suicide
But then I spent so many hours on the back roads driving home
That I grew bold, and then I took to the main road

Now I’m an ace. Yeah I’m the best
My driving skills go unsurpassed, I’m so much better than the rest
But now that I drive like a pro, there’s a few things that I can’t see
Why should I share the road with others? What right lets them bother me?

They’ve got to go! Can’t take no more!
Just hit the exit, and go and make yourself obscure
Go sit at home and watch some TV and retire
Just stay out of my sight. Just go off somewhere and expire
You can’t deny, that you can’t drive
Oh, you’re all so poor behind the wheel, how did you stay alive?
Don’t know how you passed your tests
No, on the road you are just pests
Cannot drive, no you can’t drive
Hey, hey….

Moron rides his brakes ahead, he need to be smacked
He probably got his license from a box of Cracker-Jack
Now here some jerk wants in my lane, now he’s turned on his signal light
He’s not too bright
Who does he think gave him the right?

Here’s my exit, I’ve got to go
But I’m still driving in the left lane ‘cause the right’s too slow
And so I cut somebody off, but it is all that I can do
So what if that big rig jackknifed, I just had to come on through

Now here’s some dope, right on my tail
Red lights start flashing, and now his siren starts to wail
I hit the gas, and now I’m going one-o-five
Did he think I’d crumble? Did he think I’d pull on the side?
Oh no not I! I’m gonna fly.
Oh as long as I’ve gas in my tank they won’t take me alive
Can’t be bothered with no fine
No perhaps another time
Now I’ll drive, oh yeah I’ll drive
Oh….

You’ve got to go! Can’t take no more!
Just hit the exit, and go and make yourself obscure
Go sit at home and watch some TV and retire
Just stay out of my sight. Just go off somewhere and expire
You can’t deny, that you can’t drive
Oh, you’re all so poor behind the wheel, how did you stay alive?
Don’t know how you passed your tests
No, on the road you are just pests
Cannot drive, no you can’t drive