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Song Parodies -> "I'm Not A Total Wanker"

Original Song Title:

"Una Paloma Blanca"

Original Performer:

George Baker

Parody Song Title:

"I'm Not A Total Wanker"

Parody Written by:

Phil Alexander

The Lyrics

When the sun shines on my dentures
And my bald head's shiny too
It's a stick-up or a pick up
As I try to hit on you

Though my chat-up lines are clichéd
And my beer gut's six feet wide
Come on, babe, how's about it
Shall we hit your place or mine?

I'm not a total wanker
I'm just a pain in the arse
I'm not a total wanker
Hair on my head may be sparse
But no one can take my bullshit away

Once I had my share of losing
For my chat-up lines were weak
Now I use Kevin Bloody Wilson
For my Sheila-grab technique

I'm not a total wanker
I'm just a pain in the arse
I'm not a total wanker
You ain't so out of my class
No one can take my bullshit away
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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 2.5
How Funny: 2.8
Overall Rating: 2.7
Total Votes: 6

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   3
  2
  2
  
 2   0
  1
  0
  
 3   1
  0
  2
  
 4   1
  2
  2
  
 5   1
  1
  0
  

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Royce Miller - May 28, 2003 - Report this comment
All fives--
Royce Miller - May 28, 2003 - Report this comment
Phil, by the way, I'm glad no one can take your bullshit away.
Phil - May 28, 2003 - Report this comment
:-) ...and keep yours flowing, too, Royce
sk13er boi - May 28, 2003 - Report this comment
I dunno... I personally tihnk the content is rather vulgar. No offense, though. So I gave it a five, one, one.
Peregrin - May 28, 2003 - Report this comment
Phil , that is pure class. sk13er, please look up the meaning of parody....
Phil Alexander - May 29, 2003 - Report this comment
Looks like sk13er wasn't the only one to consider it unfunny... yes, of course it's vulgar: it's supposed to be - I'm kind of surprised about the sense of humour failure, though. Ah well...
Jeff Reuben - May 29, 2003 - Report this comment
Unfortunately, I don't know the original, but the lyrics gave me a laugh.
TVOD - September 17, 2003 - Report this comment
I kinda agree with three of the above four commenters. So I'm gonna give it a 5-3-1.
sk13er boi - October 27, 2003 - Report this comment
I just for some reason thought that wanker was a bad word. Maybe I should look it up in my f... and wagnalls.
Johhny Badnote - October 29, 2003 - Report this comment
Five, two, one is my vote.
Spurwing Plover - October 20, 2017 - Report this comment
UNA PALOMA BLANKA IM JUST A BIRD IN THE SKY,UNA PALOMA BLANKA I'M GOING CRAP IN YOUR EYE
Bitey the cat - October 24, 2017 - Report this comment
IZ THIZ AUTOBIAGRAFICAL?
whipoorwill - January 27, 2018 - Report this comment
Cat. I dont think so it dont sound like one
Spurwing Plover - April 20, 2020 - Report this comment
SQUAWK SQUAWK,KRRAAAAAWW,SKREEETTT SKREEEEEE

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