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Song Parodies -> "New RSA (Red States of America)"
Original Song Title:
"New York, New York"
Original Performer:
Frank Sinatra
Parody Song Title:
"New RSA (Red States of America)"
Parody Written by:
Barry J. Mitchel
The Lyrics
At last count, 27 states had petitions with at least 1000 signatures to secede from the USA, and Texas had exceeded the 25,000 signatures needed to get attention from the White House. Only 16 are "red" states, but suppose that all 24 "red" states seceded to form a new nation called RSA. It would have one continuous border (except for Alaska), while the 26 remaining "blue" states would be split into three blocs plus Florida and Hawaii. I imagine a great migration in which conservatives and liberals flock to their respective new nations. Here is the hypothetical narrative of one conservative disappointed in the recent election, based on TOS.
I'm dreading the news; I’m grieving today.
I want to cede five parts of it - Blue USA.
Red twenty-three states are longing to stray
Right from the very heart of it - plus rich AK.
I wanna wake up in a country that doesn’t keep
Refined Left Wing that won't drill - top-side or deep.
Those Socialist Blues are melting my pay.
I’ll take a hand in parting split - from USA.
If I can make my share, I'll take and spend it there.
If not taxed blue, new jobs will stay.
New work, new work ...
I want to wake up where the GDP never creeps.
Don't mind if lumbering's done, crops are sun-kissed.
Bring on the drills, A-number-one!
Those whittled-down Blues - heart-felt is their way.
I’ve got a stake in grand new start-up kit - a bold new day.
And if I can take the dare, I’m gonna make it one day, where
It's up to you - new RSA!
Ess-aye
I want to cede five parts of it - Blue USA.
Red twenty-three states are longing to stray
Right from the very heart of it - plus rich AK.
I wanna wake up in a country that doesn’t keep
Refined Left Wing that won't drill - top-side or deep.
Those Socialist Blues are melting my pay.
I’ll take a hand in parting split - from USA.
If I can make my share, I'll take and spend it there.
If not taxed blue, new jobs will stay.
New work, new work ...
I want to wake up where the GDP never creeps.
Don't mind if lumbering's done, crops are sun-kissed.
Bring on the drills, A-number-one!
Those whittled-down Blues - heart-felt is their way.
I’ve got a stake in grand new start-up kit - a bold new day.
And if I can take the dare, I’m gonna make it one day, where
It's up to you - new RSA!
Ess-aye
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User Comments
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I shy away from commenting on partisan political parodies, but this was well done and very topical! 555!
If this happened, the RSA would be a Third World country with illegals, who once railed about Mexicans, breaching the borders to find work.
Nothing secedes like secession. By the way, the last time it was tried, and it didn't work. That time, we had General Sherman. Now, The Black President has Sherman tanks. No, I take that back: Sherman tanks are obsolete and have been replaced. You rednecks wanna try it? Go ahead. Make our day.
Leough: Thanks; I like readers commenting on quality rather than politics.
BSA: Are you a Blue Statist or Boy Scout? Illegal WORKERS would be welcomed in RSA, but the great Blue Benefits would not be in place to attract MOOCHERS. Those would enter NM & CA. RSA would have huge food resources, industry (IN, AL), high-tech (TX, NC, GA, AL), energy (XL pipeline, refineries, AK) and ports on the Gulf, Atlantic Ocean, Bering Sea & Lake Michigan. Hardly third-world.
MP: The South was mostly agrarian and didn't have Iowa's hardened ICBM silos, Huntsville's rocket researchers or Houston's Space Center.
BSA: Are you a Blue Statist or Boy Scout? Illegal WORKERS would be welcomed in RSA, but the great Blue Benefits would not be in place to attract MOOCHERS. Those would enter NM & CA. RSA would have huge food resources, industry (IN, AL), high-tech (TX, NC, GA, AL), energy (XL pipeline, refineries, AK) and ports on the Gulf, Atlantic Ocean, Bering Sea & Lake Michigan. Hardly third-world.
MP: The South was mostly agrarian and didn't have Iowa's hardened ICBM silos, Huntsville's rocket researchers or Houston's Space Center.
Well done song. Truth is, red states will be better off without the blue. Blue states need us more than we need them. Michael, are you saying that our country is only held together by the willingness of the fedgov to use force against peaceful citizens wishing to chart their own course? A Sherman tank, like a flintlock musket, are both obsolete, but they can still hurt. We are, and have been two separate cultures for a long time. Downsizing is the trend worldwide. Catalonia, Quebec, Bavaria, et al. We are not condemned to repeat the mistakes of 1861. Slavery was (allegedly) abolished. But we are all tax slaves to the war mongers and crony capitalists. It's past due for us to liberate ourselves. It can be done, and it is completely legal and constitutional. Even if it were not, just remember, 1776 wasn't exactly "legal" either.
PatMcW: Thanks for the "well done." Antonin Scalia allegedly opined that secession is unconstitutional, but he's only 1 of 9 SCJs. See http://www.theblaze.com/stories/there-is-no-right-to-secede-see-the-letter-where-justice-scalia-shoots-down-idea-of-leaving-the-union/
What's that old saying, If at first you don't secede, try, try, again..
Now what color is Ohio again? I'd hate to have to move... ;)
MD: Ohio is blue, but many locales in it are red or at least pink. See http://www-personal.umich.edu/~mejn/election/2012/ and http://www.saltwaterwitch.com/img/WhatAmericaLooksLike-2012Election-ChrisHoward.jpg
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