Mai Tai's will floor you,
Though another brand will never do,
Mai Tai's will floor you.
Like a million styles bouquets there be you couldn't see what lies before ya,
It flows, it flows from the cash bar.
Cherry spit in your drool,
You'll so want to heave after thirty-three,
You drank a fifth round, then a sixth,
'Fore you had to pee.
Stumble home every day over alley cats,[sound of cat screaming] brick and hay.
You got stewed on number twenty-two,
These were desperate days.

Won't you have a Coke or Sprite?
Cause your bladder must be tortured and lame.
You walkin' 'round like twilight zone,
Your drinking is insane.
Spirit's kickin' your behind,
Seems so hard for you to go unwind.
It's the phlegm I miss, how you'd hurl and hiss,
In that drunken state of mind.

(Mai Tais will floor ya.)
All the black outs can't remember,
(It was drinking on demand for you.)
Another bender you prefer again, uh oh, baby
(Like a million styles bouquets there be you couldn't see what lies before ya,)
All the reeling and bar debts,
(You close, You close so many bars.)
Another round they get ya of that packaged good blend.
(Mai Tai's will floor you,)
Though another brand will never do,
Mai Tai's will floor you,
(Like a million styles bouquets there be you couldn't see what lies before ya,)
(Fade)
(You close, You close so many bars.)