Always play on the white keys on tunes
C-D, E,F,G,A-B-C
Always play on the white keys on tunes
C-D, E,F,G,A-B-C

If you're a bad musician
Try taking this position
And don't play anything with flats or sharps
When piano's not so grand
Take what's right on hand
And play a scale like those Irish harps

Always play on the white keys on tunes
C-D, E,F,G,A-B-C
Always play on the white keys on tunes
C-D, E,F,G,A-B-C

A song's meant to be heard
Just ask a stupid bird
You must always take a stab at those old notes
Play that air on through
Though the audience might boo
Just sail it, and you'll find out if it floats

So..
Always play on the white keys real slow
Do-re-mi-fa-sol-la-ti-do
Just before you try a piano solo
Do-re-mi-fa-sol-la-ti-do

Music gives you fits
You're not good at it
Notes are just dots splattered on a page
You're such a tone deaf spazz
Don't you even think of jazz
Just try to dodge the tomatoes on the stage

Always play on the white keys on tunes
C-D, E,F,G,A-B-C
Always play on the white keys on tunes
C-D, E,F,G,A-B-C
Always play on the white keys on tunes
C-D, E,F,G,A-B-C
Always play on the white keys on tunes
C-D, E,F,G,A-B-C