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Song Parodies -> "I'll Buy No Carbs (The Atkins Diet Song)"
Original Song Title:
"All By Myself"
(MP3)Original Performer:
Eric Carmen
Parody Song Title:
"I'll Buy No Carbs (The Atkins Diet Song)"
Parody Written by:
Bob Gomez
The Lyrics
When I was young
I weighed at least a quarter ton
And pigging out was just for fun
Those days are gone
Now I've slimmed down
I lost about four hundred pounds
By eating steak with no hash browns
(They're out of bounds...)
I'll buy no carbs
No rice or bread
I'll buy no carbs
Anymore
I'll buy no carbs
No Tater Tots
I'll buy no carbs
Anymore
Won't eat a crumb
I walk right past the Cinnabon
The pizza place had to adjust:
All cheese, no crust
I'll buy no carbs
No rice or bread
I'll buy no carbs
Anymore
I'll buy no carbs
No Tater Tots
I'll buy no carbs
Anymore
No fries, no spelt
I will not eat
Those pasta shells
Anymore
Now I'm so svelte
You see my ribs
I'm so damn svelte
Skin and bones.....
I weighed at least a quarter ton
And pigging out was just for fun
Those days are gone
Now I've slimmed down
I lost about four hundred pounds
By eating steak with no hash browns
(They're out of bounds...)
I'll buy no carbs
No rice or bread
I'll buy no carbs
Anymore
I'll buy no carbs
No Tater Tots
I'll buy no carbs
Anymore
Won't eat a crumb
I walk right past the Cinnabon
The pizza place had to adjust:
All cheese, no crust
I'll buy no carbs
No rice or bread
I'll buy no carbs
Anymore
I'll buy no carbs
No Tater Tots
I'll buy no carbs
Anymore
No fries, no spelt
I will not eat
Those pasta shells
Anymore
Now I'm so svelte
You see my ribs
I'm so damn svelte
Skin and bones.....
©Bob Gomez 2004
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| 4 | 1 | 1 | 0 | ||||||||
| 5 | 11 | 12 | 13 |
User Comments
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A delicious addition to The Amiright Atkins Parody Canon!
LOL, Bob. Great one!
Love the pizza bit and the fries/spelt variation. Really nice.
Thanks, Johnny--please recommend the other faves of yours in this vein. It's a fad diet that is well worthy of being mocked.
AKA: thanks, dude, I appreciate it.
Leo J: wow! You know what spelt is? I'm impressed! Variations on choruses are one of the great pleasures of being a parodist. We're not constrained by pop music formulas such as the same chorus over and over again. Thanks again all, and happy and balanced eating enjoyment to everyone. d;:^)
AKA: thanks, dude, I appreciate it.
Leo J: wow! You know what spelt is? I'm impressed! Variations on choruses are one of the great pleasures of being a parodist. We're not constrained by pop music formulas such as the same chorus over and over again. Thanks again all, and happy and balanced eating enjoyment to everyone. d;:^)
5's! That was great! But what is "spelt?"
"Atkins Diet Rhapsody"
http://www.amiright.com/parody/70s/queen185.shtml
"Atkins"
http://www.amiright.com/parody/60s/theassociation12.shtml
"Carbophobes (The Atkins Diet song)"
http://www.amiright.com/parody/70s/paulsimon50.shtml
"Atkins"
http://www.amiright.com/parody/90s/paparoach4.shtml
"Atkin's Song"
http://www.amiright.com/parody/2000s/blink182118.shtml
"Atkins"
http://www.amiright.com/parody/2000s/shaggy17.shtml
"When You Saw Atkins' End"
http://www.amiright.com/parody/60s/thebeatles771.shtml
"Dr. Atkins' Low In Carbs Food Fad"
http://www.amiright.com/parody/60s/thebeatles768.shtml
"Take It Off The Bun"
http://www.amiright.com/parody/80s/aerosmith21.shtml
http://www.amiright.com/parody/70s/queen185.shtml
"Atkins"
http://www.amiright.com/parody/60s/theassociation12.shtml
"Carbophobes (The Atkins Diet song)"
http://www.amiright.com/parody/70s/paulsimon50.shtml
"Atkins"
http://www.amiright.com/parody/90s/paparoach4.shtml
"Atkin's Song"
http://www.amiright.com/parody/2000s/blink182118.shtml
"Atkins"
http://www.amiright.com/parody/2000s/shaggy17.shtml
"When You Saw Atkins' End"
http://www.amiright.com/parody/60s/thebeatles771.shtml
"Dr. Atkins' Low In Carbs Food Fad"
http://www.amiright.com/parody/60s/thebeatles768.shtml
"Take It Off The Bun"
http://www.amiright.com/parody/80s/aerosmith21.shtml
5s for "spelt" and "svelte." Tighten that belt.
Doctor Fatkins is dead. Long live carbs!
Funny you should parody an Eric Carmen song and make it about fat people, because the name "Eric Carmen" sounds almost identical to a certain overweight cartoon icon.
Johnny: dude, your thoroughness is thoroughly impressive. Thanks for the lists of Atkins songs. Maybe a contest is in order.
Joelle: spelt is a grain used for breads moreso in Europe than the US. People who are allergic to wheat can usually tolerate it, so it's a good alternative.
John B: it's so tight, my outie is turning into an innie. Your comments made me want to eat smelt.
Michael, my motto is, "No ideas but in food!", to paraphrase a famous poet from your state. I pretty much live on carbs most days. I'm 6'2", 170.
Olvan, I think you may have something there. Cartman and Carmen are pretty much alter egos as I see it.
Thanks to all for the comments and thoughts. d;:^)
Joelle: spelt is a grain used for breads moreso in Europe than the US. People who are allergic to wheat can usually tolerate it, so it's a good alternative.
John B: it's so tight, my outie is turning into an innie. Your comments made me want to eat smelt.
Michael, my motto is, "No ideas but in food!", to paraphrase a famous poet from your state. I pretty much live on carbs most days. I'm 6'2", 170.
Olvan, I think you may have something there. Cartman and Carmen are pretty much alter egos as I see it.
Thanks to all for the comments and thoughts. d;:^)
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