I was mystified 'bout my hard drive
Hackers came, it quit, said goodbye
Files are changing, now I'm furious at
'Bout how Microsoft'll get you - oh the glitch is back

Keyboard's not on fire so that's alright
I phone MS Tech on a Saturday night
I can patch the latest secur'ty blues
But can't hide 'cus the 'lectric buggies still get thru

It's a glitch, it's a glitch
Oh the glitch is back
Cons trolled over now my password is hacked
It's a glitch, it's a glitch
All form letters removed
I'd just got in the groove
Word strings gone adieu - oh no no!

This stuff inflames my rectal veins
De-encodes my file names
In angst I squashed my mouse all flat
Oh it's useless 32-bit now the glitch attacked....

It's a glitch, it's a glitch
Oh the glitch is back
'Mote port open and it let in attack
It's a glitch, it's a glitch
Now my system is through
The O S is removed
The ping's useless too - oh no no!

([frantic hard drive] clacks solo)

It's a glitch, it's a glitch
Oh the glitch is back
This October saw my worst hack attack
It's a glitch, it's a glitch
'Cause my screen's turnin' blue
And the CD drive's screwed
It's lost all value - it was new!

Glitch, glitch, glitch is back
Glitch, glitch, glitch is back
Glitch, glitch, glitch is back
Glitch, glitch, glitch is back

(repeat and crash)