A long, long time ago
Thoughts of twenty-twenty-four
As a kid used to make me smile
But now the year has come and past
I say, "Thank God it's done at last!"
'Cause leap years each seem to get much more vile

From trash balloons in South Korea
To people telling Yoon Suk, "See ya!"
"Wicked" dolls with porn sites
Ken Lamar and Drake's net-fights
I can't remember if I sighed
When P'Nut the right-wing squirrel died
But I will gladly kick aside
Two thou...sand twenty...four

So, bye-bye to the year that's gone by
Twenty-twenty wasn't funny this one's a surprise
The whole damned world will be singing "Auld Lang Syne"
Singin', "Midnight will be when this year dies!"
"Can't wait for this damned year to die!"

Did you know that Donald Trump
Was kicked thirty-four times in the rump
By New York court residents?
And he would be up on charges more
Had Biden not made the debate floor
And the Dems stopped his run for President

Well, I know that Harris was on spot
But that all changed when Trump was shot
And when Swift joined the fight
All the swing states swung to the right
And now a felon fills a cabinet team
With some folks that he saw on the TV screen
Was there a year more obscene?!
Two thou...sand twenty four

I will be singin', bye-bye to this year that's gone by
Twenty-sixteen was so demeaning 'til this year said "hi".
The whole damned world will be singing "Auld Lang Syne"
Singin', "Midnight will be when this year dies!"
"Can't wait for this damned year to die!"

Now, for four years, Biden's health got worse
And seemed like all DC got the curse
As politicians went berserk
Eric Adams cleaned up the N.Y.C.
But the Turks gave him gifts pompously
Now the Feds may get him kicked out of work

Oh, and Kristi Noem shot dogs and goats
And now she's Trump's DHS vote
Mark Robinson said he
Was the only "black Nazi"
And while Joe pardoned his own son
For snorting coke and having guns
We all prayed this year would be done:
Two thou...sand twenty four

We'll be singin', bye-bye to this year that's gone by
Twenty-twelve was duly shelved though Mayans just weren't right
The whole damned world will be singing "Auld Lang Syne"
Singin', "Midnight will be when this year dies!"
"Can't wait for this damned year to die!"

We sought shelter in a summer swelter
The heat felt like we're in an ore smelter
Worldwide temps were risin' fa-a-a-a-a-ast
Helene and Milton became great
When they thrashed on through the Sunshine State
Causing FEMI to dodge conservative blasts

Now, "The Joker 2" was quite unclean
Thank God for "Deadpool & Wolverine"
We don't talk "Madame Web"
The game "Concord" quickly ebbed
Tribes get hooked on porn in Amazon
The New York/Dublin "portal" con
Some of the chaos pressed upon
Two thou...sand twenty four

We'll be singin', bye-bye to this year that's gone by
Yeah, oh-eight wasn't so great just 'cause Obama got by
The whole damned world will be singing "Auld Lang Syne"
Singin', "Midnight will be when this year dies!"
"Can't wait for this damned year to die!"

Oh, and Boeing plane doors got "misplaced"
Their Starlink mod'le stuck in space
And Apple bombed with Vision Pro
A bridge fell in Bal'mar; Jersey earthquake
Hauk Tuah fell in a crypto-gate
And Sweden finally joins with NATO

Joey Chestnut banned from eating "dogs"
Except in Springfield (facts are wrong)
Orleans' schools count to Ten
And then that cute Moo Deng
While mpox make people "un-alive"
Trump's friends write "Project '25"
And RFK...how'd HE survive
Two thou...sand twenty four

Let's be singin', bye-bye to the year that's gone by
Yeah. two thousand was astoundin' but now it's high and dry
The whole damned world will be singing "Auld Lang Syne"
Singin', "Midnight will be when this year dies!"
"Can't wait for this damned year to die!"

We lost James Earl and Quincy Jones
Pete Rose, Mutumbo and Mays are gone
"Famous Amos", Phil Donahue
Dr. Ruth, Newhart, Coleman, Kihn
And "McGonogal" and "Theodon"
Louis Gossett, Richard Lewis, Tob' Keith, too

"Apollo Creed", Kristofferson
Goku's "mangaka", Richard Simmons
MST's Roger Corman
Break-dancing, thanks to "Raygun"
Yeah, this year has sucked so many ways
But we're near the end of its days
Let's pray that we can shout "Hooray"...
(In) Two thou...sand twenty...five

Let's all be singing...
Hi, hi to twenty-twenty-five
Mighty be crazy, will be hazy, but I hope we can strive
To make this better or, at least, just survive
I hope next year we'll all still be alive
Hopefully we'll still be alive

Let's be singing hi, hi to twenty-twenty-five
Mighty be crazy, will be hazy, but I hope we can strive
To make this better or, at least, just survive
I hope next year we'll all still be alive