[Guitar riff is performed by Emmet Otter and his band on wash-tub bass and jug]

Well, Kermit told of Emmet
And the Christmas he had one time
To earn money for the presents
They didn't have much time
That Emmet and his mother
Had found the best gift around
Some acoustic with pearl inlays
But it cost too much grand

Hole in the washtub
Play a talent show
Jug band of Otters

[Guitar riff is performed by Emmet Otter and his band on wash-tub bass and jug]

The son fled the Otter house
It died without any sound
Emmet's Ma was also running out
Singing songs to win the grand
When it all was over
Another band had won first place
The Nightmare Band won it all
It seemed the Otters lost the race

Hole in the washtub
Tuning up the string
Jug band of Otters

[Guitar riff is performed by Emmet Otter and his band on wash-tub bass and jug]

(Guitar solo played by Emmet on electric guitar in a fantasy sequence)

[Guitar riff is performed by Emmet Otter and his band on wash-tub bass and jug]

They ended up playing normal gigs
It was effin' cold out there
But with the talent show judges just outside
Making some music there
If Emmet had won, would have gave his mom
A grand piano set
No matter what they get out of this
I know, I know they'll never forget

Hole in the washtub
Muppets singing high
Jug band of Otters

[The guitar riff is performed by Emmet and his band, with Mrs. Otter supplying a vocal melody, fade out]