You who are by the stove
Must wear some clothes, so you don't get fried
And use the upper shelf
For liquor stash, so kids won't im'bibe

Heat your chicken well
There's salmonella growing inside
And meat should be pure lean
And none too thick, or buns will grow wide

Don't chew heifer snacks acquired
If they're moldy or expired
The result could be quite dire
And bloat your gut tube

And you who are tense or drear
Should shun the beer and your cellar's brut wines
And so seek help to lift your cheer
Your bleakest blues restored to grand times

Keep your parrots quelled
Their filthy yells: shrill, gross and so snide
And keep them full of feed
Or they'll get sick and blow your home's pride

Don't you ever bash your bride
If you scold her or tell lies
She'll just make you sleep outside
And loathe your love moods