(Brief steel guitar intro)

Food
that is on the stove
it does not bode
all that well for us

Because
Dave cooks so bad
Each meal we have
does cause us to cuss

Meals
don't taste too swell
They're not made well
Of this I don't lie
You eat
and then you heave
You'll be so sick
it will make you cry

Crosby is a real cool guy
but his cooking; ay-yi-yi
he put live birds in a pie
and one bit Stephen
OW!!

{During instrumental - On Steel guitar notes here}
("Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow" etc.)

Then Steve
after several beers
he snarled and sneered
then let his beer can fly

Then that beer can
did hit Dave's head
Here's what he said
"Hey, knock that off, guy"

Meals
'round here are Hell
they don't go well
when we're all too high
Chipped beef
on LSD
worse than it seems
You never should try

And when David serves the pie
Steve Stills looks him in the eye
Dave just shrugs, then with a smile
says, "Stick your thumb in"
OW!!!!

{On steel guitar notes to end}
("Ow, ow, ow, ow", etc)

~ ~ ~ the end ~ ~ ~