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Song Parodies -> "Dark Angel"
Original Song Title:
"Dark Lady"
(MP3)Original Performer:
Cher
Parody Song Title:
"Dark Angel"
Parody Written by:
Michael Pacholek
The Lyrics
OK, I give up. Catherine Zeta-Jones will never be mine. And Jennifer Lopez will never be unattached long enough for me to make a move. Let's see... Is Derek Jeter still dating Jessica Alba? No? Maybe this will impress her. Maybe she'll see it. Maybe she'll like me. Maybe we'll end up together. And maybe I'll flap my arms and fly to the Moon.
On Tuesday nights, at 9, that's right
I watched a chick who was really out of sight!
The show is set in a future time
that's ridiculous, it sure is not sublime!
A secret government program is shaped
to create supermen, but she escaped!
Enhanced genetics, she cleans clocks!
And like the network she's on, this girl is such a fox!
Dark Angel laughed and danced
and beat the bad guys one by one!
Danced through her martial arts
until the threat is gone!
Dark Angel looks like magic!
She's a ten, no, she's a twelve!
Don't think that you can have her all to yourself!
Some bad guys struck, an EMP
electro-magnetic pulse, bad thing to see.
It fried computers in 2009
A Depression set in. Ten years later, we still whine.
Max is a girl that, secretly, who
has powers to fight, to justice she is true!
She's got guys who help her in this race:
Original Cindy, and Eyes Only, you can't see his face!
Dark Angel laughed and danced
and beat the bad guys one by one!
Danced through her martial arts
until the threat is gone!
Dark Angel looks like magic!
She's a ten, no, she's a twelve!
Don't think that you can have her all to yourself!
Well, I went home and turned on my TV
to check out that girl who was so hot to me.
And then I remembered the network's tune.
How could they have cancelled a show still in bloom?
So I went out to see Jessica's flick.
A film called "Honey," and she's still a major chick!
Now she'll be in "The Fantastic Four!"
But "Dark Angel" will never be on television no more!
Dark Angel laughed and danced
and beat the bad guys one by one!
Danced through her martial arts
until the threat is gone!
Dark Angel looks like magic!
She's a ten, no, she's a twelve!
Don't think that you can have her all to yourself!
I watched a chick who was really out of sight!
The show is set in a future time
that's ridiculous, it sure is not sublime!
A secret government program is shaped
to create supermen, but she escaped!
Enhanced genetics, she cleans clocks!
And like the network she's on, this girl is such a fox!
Dark Angel laughed and danced
and beat the bad guys one by one!
Danced through her martial arts
until the threat is gone!
Dark Angel looks like magic!
She's a ten, no, she's a twelve!
Don't think that you can have her all to yourself!
Some bad guys struck, an EMP
electro-magnetic pulse, bad thing to see.
It fried computers in 2009
A Depression set in. Ten years later, we still whine.
Max is a girl that, secretly, who
has powers to fight, to justice she is true!
She's got guys who help her in this race:
Original Cindy, and Eyes Only, you can't see his face!
Dark Angel laughed and danced
and beat the bad guys one by one!
Danced through her martial arts
until the threat is gone!
Dark Angel looks like magic!
She's a ten, no, she's a twelve!
Don't think that you can have her all to yourself!
Well, I went home and turned on my TV
to check out that girl who was so hot to me.
And then I remembered the network's tune.
How could they have cancelled a show still in bloom?
So I went out to see Jessica's flick.
A film called "Honey," and she's still a major chick!
Now she'll be in "The Fantastic Four!"
But "Dark Angel" will never be on television no more!
Dark Angel laughed and danced
and beat the bad guys one by one!
Danced through her martial arts
until the threat is gone!
Dark Angel looks like magic!
She's a ten, no, she's a twelve!
Don't think that you can have her all to yourself!
Yes, a new film version of a Marvel Comics legend is coming out. "The Fantastic Four" will have Ioan Gruffudd (pronounced like "Johan Griffith," from the new Horatio Hornblower movies) as stretchy science genius Reed "Mr. Fantastic" Richards; Michael Chiklis ("The Commish," "The Shield") as his man-mountain best friend, Ben "The Thing" Grimm; Jessica Alba as Reed's girlfriend, Susan "Invisible Girl" Storm; Chris Evans ("Not Another Teen Movie") as Sue's brother, Johnny Storm, "the Human Torch"; and Julian McMahon ("Nip/Tuck") as the villanous Doctor Doom, whose scarred face and armor were almost certainly an inspiration for the character of Darth Vader. Jessica Alba can turn invisible? There's a waste of some great visuals!
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User Comments
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I did a double-take on "Enhanced genetics, she cleans clocks!" (Just read the last word wrong.) Jessica Alba can clean my, um, clock anytime.
Jessica Alba generates Erect-o-Man-get-it-Pulse everywhere she goes.... 555!
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