poignant...i like it

Thanks alvin...isn't it a shame that I'm so ignorant about cars?

Fast drivin' parody, 555 mph

Here's $555 towards your new blue car then Pat

Great match to TOS. Oh, there are those who are completely clueless about cars - I used to work in an auto parts store - some of the questions we fielded were amazing. 5s.

Thanks Larry, Stu and Jack.

"Velvet/Corvette" was interestingray. 555

Thanks Tommy, how spyderkin of you!

You musta've been one of those guys at the parts strore that always swore it was the right part and sold me the wrong part only for me to have to come back and deal with your flamboyance about parts especially after I took 5 hours to change the part out only to realize that you screwed me over with the wrong part just to rid yourself of me from in front of your counter. er. .. Ahem- excuse me, Ah well all that throat clearing is done now I must address the author in this comment . Very well done Adagio. If there was a five cylinder automobile you would get three brand new 5 cylinder cars from me free of charge. You go girl! And I'll give you a 555 on this anyway. dispite what anyone else has commented. This is great parody writing.

Actually, I never did that, mainly because I was good at my job, but also because I detested taking used, greasy parts and trying to clean and re-inventory them. But yes, occasionally I did sell an incorrect part, though it usually was the customer providing wrong information about their vehicle that led me to the wrong part. It is a hell of a lot easier to look up the right part number the first time and have a happy customer (and boss). Oh, there are 5 cylinder cars; Audi I believe made/makes one along with perhaps one or two other manufacturers, though I didn't deal with imports that much.

Thanks "To Red Ant" and Jack again..........?

From what you said then maybe if I came to you first I would have not such a bad taste in my oral cavity when it comes to clerk/sales persons at auto parts stores. But then again if you dislike getting grease on your hands you probably hated the job. Once again, great parody Adagio.

TRA: I don't mind getting my hands dirty at all. I've worked 2 jobs in auto/motorcycle parts sales, one job as a diesel mechanic intern (that is a filty job) and also several years operating wastewater plants. Here are some tips for the next time you need a part for your vehicle:

Have the VIN number handy; many parts cannot be ordered correctly without it. If your vehicle doesn't have matching numbers (custom car, different motor, etc) knowing the modifications is necessary as well.

Go to stores in the morning time. No one likes to look up part numbers right at closing time.

Many remanufactured parts that auto part stores sell have high failure rates, particularly electrical parts. These are best bought from a dealer, even though it is more expensive that way. Speaking of which, some parts are only available through a dealer.

Although many stores have considerable diagnostic equipment, troubleshooting a difficult problem is what real mechanics are for. A clerk who makes 7-8 dollars an hour is not going to know much; if he did, he'd be making 3-5 times that actually repairing cars.

Finally, knowing exactly what you need is crucial: If you say you need 'that little funny looking thing on top of the engine cover' you might get a PCV valve, you might get a hood ornament. Sad, but true.

I had a hood ornament of a giant red ant once on my Nash Rambler. Faulty bolts and screws bought from an auto parts store caused it to fall off one night. They must have been the wrong parts. Never did find that hood ornament again.