Hooded stranger came
Old Nick was his name

He said, "Don't fear my wiener
Though it's red and warty and cold
Pleased to introduce him

Come on baby
(Don't fear my wiener)
Try my forbidden fruit
(Don't fear my wiener)
This man's got wealth and taste
(Don't fear my wiener)
Let my love take root

La, la la, la la
La, la la, la la

Next day he went home
Left her all alone
Nine months afterward her son was born
With his eyes suspiciously red
(And she named him Damien)
Kid was quite unusual in every way
(And she named him Damien)
He can read your mind, so the people say
(Redefine creepiness)
Can move stuff just by thinking, or so people say

All cause his dad said

"Come on baby
(Don't fear my wiener)
Try my forbidden fruit
(Don't fear my wiener)
This man's got wealth and taste
(Don't fear my wiener)
Let my love take root"

La, la la, la la
La, la la, la la

Kid's in high school now
Bad boy all around
Teachers always give him straight A's
'Cause if they don't, they'll turn into frogs
Headed off to college on a scholarship
Paid for by a secretive fellowship
The Illuminati paid his scholarship
(Saying, "Now it is done")

That kid Damy
(He's the one to fear)
And he's moving up
(Wants to run for D.C.)
Can talk backwards if he desires
(His tongue is green and pointy)
Long sharp nails on his hands
(His face is pale and slimy)

'Cause his dad said
"Don't fear my wiener"