Try to call my Gran
While she eats her bran
Geezers can't hear the beeper
It might as well be on planet Mars
(That's the way that they are)

Come on, Granny
(Please hear the beeper)
Granny, hear my call
(Please hear the beeper)
Aren't you able to try
(Please hear the beeper)
Granny, you beat all

Gramps is stone deaf, too
Ring until I'm blue
Geezers don't hear the beeper
It could be sealed inside of a jar
(That's the way that they are)

Come on Grandpa
(Please hear the beeper)
You can do it, Gramps
(Please hear the beeper)
Think I'm going to cry
(Please hear the beeper)
Finger's gettin' cramps

Might as well be stone
Hearing's all but gone
Granny-Maw and Granny-Paw
Are together in oblivion
(Granny-Maw and Granny-Paw)

40,000 times I call them everyday
(Please Granny-Maw and Granny-Paw)
40,000 times I waste my life away
(Redefine hopelessness)
Another 40,000 whimpers of dismay
(That's the way that they are)

Come on, Granny
(Please hear the beeper)
You can do it, Gramps
(Please hear the beeper)
I'm not going to lie
(Please hear the beeper)
You're the stone deaf champs

La, la, la, la, la
La, la, la, la, la

Now my phone is dead
Not unlike my head
So I dropped by to see them
I honked my horn but they didn't hear
At the door I'm knockin' till my hand is numb
I couldn't get anyone to come
I'm yelling out and I'm feelin' dumb
(Screaming "answer the door")

Come on, Granny
(But she didn't hear)
So I broke it down
(They were startled to see)
They looked annoyed and said to me
(Like talking to a brick wall)
"Why don't you ever call"
(That's just the way that they are)

Come on, geezers
(Please hear the beeper)