I carve
Your Planter's walnut
I seal it -- with lactite
I draw
A happy smiley face on it
Make the rear-end round and tight, round and tight
I make it wobble when you throw it around
And here's the kicker; It won't fall down.
Surprise! It licked gravity!
I made a career of weebles

I was once
The hottest thing next to disco
The kids flocked to buy my weebs
They tried hard to floor their wood noggins
The kids weren't considered dweebs, weren't considered dweebs
The weebles wobbled
But they didn't fall down
And you call me a Hasbro mound?
Remember my career of weebles
It began with my career of weebles

I don't drive your Grand Theft Auto
I don't fist your Mortal Kombat
Baldur's Gate makes me yearn
For the outlook of a wombat

You can't take
Your new Playstation
And knock it upside down, so it wobbles like a clown
What fun
Is playing Myst
When you can't throw it around, throw it around?
Them weebles improved 70s kids' coordination
The Y2K ones? You need to wheel 'em 'round
Yessir, I made a career of weebles
I'm proud I made a career of weebles

Pet rocks
Came back as Chia pets
Lite Brite
Returned as laser tag
My weebles are universal
They come from Boston, Paris,
Gdansk, and a snowy town called Mpag
The day they fall down will be the day I croak
Their existence was no hoax
I made childhood not so feeble

Take my message to the Zelda people, 'coz
In my old age, I forget and dreeble
I wobble 'round like a weeble
I wobble 'round like a weeble
Walkin' legless -- seemed so seemple!