have u ever tasted the icky-salads u make, are they fresh or stale
or perhaps u think that the green cabbage u used has gone all pale
are black olives just a veggie in ur salad or are they something more
is vinegar an ingredient u read in cookbooks, its all over the floor

when ur eating ur salad do u sit normally or do u start to drool
wud u like some apples in your salad bowl or are u just another fool
well ive seen the rice, and ive seen the gravy and the boiled veggies
and ill be prepared to munch all the salad but i hate those peas

cud it be ur afraid of what the chefs might say
when they know uve finished all the mayonaise
they shud realise before they critisize that
they dont need mayo for spaghetti bolonaise

is your plate so small that ur salad will fall
down onto the floor whenever u walk
will u still eat salad and be on a diet
and say that u might as well never talk

i think eating salad is best for the people who dont eat no meat
a sliced cucumber and chopped red tomatoes with some sesame seeds
will u be so sure when all the veggies are gone, say u dont wanna eat
u had a chance but u just turned around, now suffer at your own feet

perhaps u think before you say that all the salad's dead and gone
open your mouth, open it wide, this is salad not a bomb!!
its the only thing that'll save u now, from becoming a red-neck
or will u glare at all u tear, ive said enuf, oh what the heck..