Got a call from an old friend, we used to be real close
Said he hadn't seen me for a number of years
So he got on a plane, bought a ticket to the West Coast
And we had a few laughs over too many beers

Then I came home from work unexpectedly one night
And I told my old friend it was time to go home
I don't care what you say any more, this is my wife
Go to bed with your own wife, leave mine alone

I never said you had to live a life of chastity
I never said that was the way that it has to be
Go right ahead, enjoy your life
And you can have your fun -
But not with my wife!

So you tell me you can't sleep alone in a strange place
Well, you'll just have to find yourself somebody else
If you try, then I'm sure you can pick up a playmate
And if that's not OK, you can play with yourself!

I don't want to cause trouble or get in a big fight
But I'm telling you, friend, that what's mine is my own
I don't care what you say any more, this is my wife
Go to bed with your own wife, leave mine alone!

I never said you had to live a life of chastity
I never said that was the way that it has to be
Go right ahead, enjoy your life
And you can have your fun -
But not with my wife!