Whether someone's back yard or inside at the Y,
There's always some kid who just lets it all fly
And it's many times worse if you're out in the sea
I know it sounds gross but you're always a-swimmin' in pee

You can check the pH and dump in the chlorine
You can put up a sign that says "Not A Latrine"
But the john's not located conveniently
It's cold now it's warm hey you're always a-swimmin' in pee

Oh, they drink cases of beer, they can wait all they want,
They got plenty of time
Oh, and they never get out, but they keep putting in
Till it's lemony lime

And they're fearless and bold cause they know no one's seein'
then they'll shamelessly cut one and laugh while they're peein'
You can serve 'em a urinal cake with their tea
But they won't take the hint so you're always a-swimmin' in pee

Oh, they just whizz on themselves, they can wait all they want,
They got plenty of time
Oh, and they never get out, but they keep putting in
It's the conswummate crime

They're the worst kind of slob as they make their own rule
Yes they do as they please into somebody's pool
So in the next life they'll come back as a tree
And then what we'll do, let the dogs sniff on you
So you'll always be swimmin' in pee