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Song Parodies -> "OxyContin"
Original Song Title:
"Captain Jack"
(MP3)Original Performer:
Billy Joel
Parody Song Title:
"OxyContin"
Parody Written by:
Michael Pacholek
The Lyrics
Also known as "hillbilly heroin." If you take this stuff, you might be a redneck. Rush Limbaugh is not a redneck. In order to be a redneck, you have to HAVE a neck.
Saturday night and you're still hanging around.
You're tired of waiting for some liberal clown.
You'd like to find a little hole in the ground for a while.
Mm-hmmmm.
So you go to the Duane Reade in your bursting jeans.
And you wish you were really at a Dairy Queen.
You spy some Bush-praising news magazine
and you smile. Whoa-hohhhh...
'Cause OxyContin gets you high tonight
and takes you to your special island.
OxyContin gets you by tonight
just a bunch of pills and you'll be smilin'
oh-oh-whoa, oh-whoa, oh yeah...
Your third wife's gone out, real late again.
You just watch the House there on C-SPAN.
The phone is gonna ring soon, but no screen or scan for that call.
Mm-hmmm.
So you take the airwaves in your too-tight clothes.
And you look so chubby and you just can't touch your toes.
Ah, but still you need a little Lorcet dose after all.
Whoa-hohhhh...
'Cause OxyContin gets you high tonight
and takes you to your special island.
Ah, OxyContin gets you by tonight
just a bunch of pills and you'll be smilin'
oh-oh-whoa, oh-whoa, oh yeah...
So you decide to skip the insanity.
You call your substitute, young Sean Hannity.
Aw, but you can't hide from your vanity
and what for? Whoo-hoo.
And you got everything, aw, but nothing's cool.
You displace the water from the swimming pool.
And you guess your next dose just mike make you drool
and you're sore. Whoa-hohhhh...
But OxyContin gets you high tonight
and takes you to your special island.
Ah, OxyContin gets you by tonight
just a bunch of pills and you'll be smilin'
oh-oh-whoa, oh-whoa, oh yeah...
So you play your show tapes and you smoke cigars
and you let the Dittoheads treat you like a star.
Aw, but still your Georgie Boy hasn't gone too far.
What went wrong? Whoo-hoo.
And you can't understand why your world is so dead.
Why you don't like McNabb's style, your empty head.
Well, you're 52, but still obsessed with Clinton's bed.
And that's too long!
Whoa-hoh, whoa-hoh, yeah! Yeah!
And OxyContin gets you high tonight
and takes you to your special island.
Ah, OxyContin gets you by tonight
just a bunch of pills and you'll be smilin'!
Oh yeah, OxyContin gets you high tonight
and takes you to your special island.
Ah, OxyContin, you could die by tonight
just a bunch of pills and you'll be smilin'!
(repeat 'til fade)
You're tired of waiting for some liberal clown.
You'd like to find a little hole in the ground for a while.
Mm-hmmmm.
So you go to the Duane Reade in your bursting jeans.
And you wish you were really at a Dairy Queen.
You spy some Bush-praising news magazine
and you smile. Whoa-hohhhh...
'Cause OxyContin gets you high tonight
and takes you to your special island.
OxyContin gets you by tonight
just a bunch of pills and you'll be smilin'
oh-oh-whoa, oh-whoa, oh yeah...
Your third wife's gone out, real late again.
You just watch the House there on C-SPAN.
The phone is gonna ring soon, but no screen or scan for that call.
Mm-hmmm.
So you take the airwaves in your too-tight clothes.
And you look so chubby and you just can't touch your toes.
Ah, but still you need a little Lorcet dose after all.
Whoa-hohhhh...
'Cause OxyContin gets you high tonight
and takes you to your special island.
Ah, OxyContin gets you by tonight
just a bunch of pills and you'll be smilin'
oh-oh-whoa, oh-whoa, oh yeah...
So you decide to skip the insanity.
You call your substitute, young Sean Hannity.
Aw, but you can't hide from your vanity
and what for? Whoo-hoo.
And you got everything, aw, but nothing's cool.
You displace the water from the swimming pool.
And you guess your next dose just mike make you drool
and you're sore. Whoa-hohhhh...
But OxyContin gets you high tonight
and takes you to your special island.
Ah, OxyContin gets you by tonight
just a bunch of pills and you'll be smilin'
oh-oh-whoa, oh-whoa, oh yeah...
So you play your show tapes and you smoke cigars
and you let the Dittoheads treat you like a star.
Aw, but still your Georgie Boy hasn't gone too far.
What went wrong? Whoo-hoo.
And you can't understand why your world is so dead.
Why you don't like McNabb's style, your empty head.
Well, you're 52, but still obsessed with Clinton's bed.
And that's too long!
Whoa-hoh, whoa-hoh, yeah! Yeah!
And OxyContin gets you high tonight
and takes you to your special island.
Ah, OxyContin gets you by tonight
just a bunch of pills and you'll be smilin'!
Oh yeah, OxyContin gets you high tonight
and takes you to your special island.
Ah, OxyContin, you could die by tonight
just a bunch of pills and you'll be smilin'!
(repeat 'til fade)
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User Comments
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'You displace the water from the swimming pool' is a very good line.
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