It's nine o'clock on a Sunday
An excited crowd’s tuning in
The Piano Man’s starting finally
Made them wait thirty minutes to begin

He says “thank you for coming to MSG”
To hear all these songs I’ve composed
I’m so glad and it’s neat and it’s so bittersweet
To celebrate one hundred shows

La, la, la, de, de, da
La, la, de, de, da, da, da

Cut off the end of Piano Man
Mess up the song tonight
Well it’s only his most famous melody
And your program timings not right

Now the song I await is my favorite tune
The crowd sings along in such glee
But like so many folks, I thought my cable broke
Then it switched to my local news feed

I say “hey, why the hell is this happening?”
As a smile ran away from my face
They promoted this show for weeks endlessly
This must be some kind of mistake

Oh, la, la, la, de, de, da
La, la, de, de, da, da, da

Now Rex the Ohio news anchor
Finds he must apologize
And he said he’d rather see Billy singing on TV
Why this happened he doesn’t know why

So the anchors start talkin’ ‘bout politics
As we all tweet in shock from our homes
And you won’t see the rest, you’ve messed up CBS
This ending is like the Sopranos

Cut off the end of Piano Man
Mess up the song tonight
Well it’s only his most famous melody
And your program timings not right

The ratings are good for a Sunday
And the producer gives a big a smile
'Cause he knows it’s Billy we’ve all tuned in to see
To forget about life for a while

And the piano, it sounds like a carnival
As the last verse crescendo draws near