If you search for mess o’ fress
And act just like a swine
And you seek the lunch, to feed like pig,
Have no manners when you dine,
Your snout routs earth when for truffles you dig.

Hoggin’ spree is what has just occurred—
Heavy lunch consumed by you.
Hoggin’ spree will likely give you GERD
When grossly does your feed ensue.

When you haul ass to buy lunch,
It’s greatly supersized.
This crap could cause your heart to seize—
You eat at a furious pace,
And so you’re ostracized
As you polish off fries topped with cheese.

Hoggin’ spree is what has just occurred—
Heavy lunch consumed by you.
Hoggin’ spree is eating a whole bird
That’s roasted and rolling in roux.

When you dine it troubles
All of your fine friends:
You champ on food slurpingly, much of it suspends
From your mouth that’s burpingly
Open. . .make no amends,
So gross, so gross!

When you feed so swinishly,
You’ll likely be spurned.
Your teeth gnash while noshin’ on a prawn.
You eat with such celerity
That the sowbriquet [sic] you’ve earned
Is “Porky,” even though your name is Don.

“Hoggin’ spree,” those two unlovely words
Are applied to what you do.
Hoggin’ spree’s gobbling cottage-cheese curds
In porcine portions—“Sooey! Soo. . . !”