What's the matter with the group I'm forming
Can't you tell that the scope's too wide.
Maybe I should make them talk on topic
Welcome back -- I heard "she" just lied.
Who are all of these new posters, honey
They all talk trashy
And then sue ya for some money
Everybody's talkin 'bout the board's misconduct
But it's still just the Net to me.

What's the matter with the words I'm postin
Can't you see she's been "slanderized"
Should I maybe retain an attorney
Or perhaps call the FBI
Nowadays you can't be too dog gone careful
Your best bet -- its true -- is to lose your potential
It's bunk -- she thunk -- always with the same junk
It's still just the Net to me.

Oh, it doesn't matter what the owner is saying
Cause it's always been the same old scene
There's a new nic in town
But I swear that she sounds
Like the one who is always so mean
I think that she's really thirteen.

How about if we all change the subject
And discuss things of relevance
Or perhaps we could gather together as we
Make all the puppets dance
Don't waste your venom by discussing the issues
Just dab at your eyes as you gather more tissues
He said, she said, the threats you have just read
It's still just the Net to me.

---- Instrumental Interlude ----

Whooooooooa-ho

What's the matter with the fun I'm having
Don't you know that you laugh too much
Maybe I should play along with the madness
Roll my eyes and pretend I'm "touched"
Don't you know about the new Yahoo honey
Don't cry when you're bit cause you had to poke the bunny
It's the next phase, new wave, your crazed, anyways
It's still just the Net to me.

Everybody's talkin 'bout the board's misconduct
But it's still just the Net to me.