I am the chief Commander
And I know just where I stand
I know how best to pander
And to shake the voter's hand
Today I am your president
The man that you adore
But I've heard the news and the media views
If the Dems get in then we'll never win
We'll get booted out the door

I am the chief Commander
And I get lots of advice
From surly Donald Rumsfeld
And Condoleeza Rice
They come around to brief me
They have a lot to say
So I've learned to pretend that I comprehend
I just smile and nod and I say "Good job!"
And they go their merry way

I am the chief Commander
I fly all around the world
I say "Mission Accomplished!"
And the banners get unfurled
I don't remember countries
I can't pronounce their names
Ah, but what the f**k
I'm another lame duck
It don't matter much if I stay in touch
I'll just shift around the blame

I am the chief Commander
I bring to you my spiel
We spent two weeks to spin it
And target mass appeal
It's so far from original
It's not outside the box
"Cause if it's arcane it won't remain
In the pundit's heads that we pay good bread
To give talking points on FOX

I am the chief Commander
I'm coming to your town
To tell you that the times are rough
There's terror all around
We've got to keep an eye on you
To secure the U.S.A.
We gotta tap some phones
And fly some drones
And if you begin to sass
Then we'll bust your ass
And imprison you at Gitmo Bay

I am your chief Commander
I'm number 43
I talk like Andy Griffith
When I go on TV
I've read it in the papers
My approval ratings blow
Seems folks sure mind that Iraq's a grind
If the war don't stop then my numbers'll drop
To another record low

I am the chief Commander
And I know just where I stand
I know how best to pander
And to shake the voter's hand
Today I am your president
The man that you adore
But I've heard the news and the media views
If the Dems get in then I'll never win
I'll get booted out the door