You went down to London in your big limousine
In your black pants and fancy clothes
The the punkd crew came right along
Gave you a snootful of water up the nose
Left you standing there on the red carpet
Soaking wet and too mad to see
Go on and lash out more at the paparazzi
But don't come bitching to me

Because you had to be Tom big shot didn't you
You had to open up your mouth
You had to be Tom big shot didn't you
The scientologists were so knocked out
You had to have the last word that night
You know what every thing's about
You had to have a white hot spotlight
You had to be Tom big shot that night

Oprah was so impressed with your drug advice
And the things you knew about psychology
Yes Brooke Shields was really entertained by
Mr. Cruise's personal philosophy
But now it seems you don't remember all the things you said
Not even sure you want to know?
Well Mr. Cruise I'll give you a hint
You sure put on a show

Yes yes you had to be Tom big shot didn't you?
You had to prove it to the crowd
You had to jump up on the couch didn't you
Man Oprah was so knocked out
You had to have the last word that night
You're so much fun to be around
You had to make the front page bold type
You had to be Tom big shot that night

Well its no big sin to stick your two cents in
If you know when to leave it alone
But you went over the line
Couldn't tell it was time to shut your pie-hole
No no no no no you had to be Tom big shot didn't you
The scientologists were so knocked out
You had to have the last word that night
You know what every thing's about
You had to have a white hot spotlight
You had to be Tom big shot that night