There's a place at the bar for the drunken old man
With his red blood-shot eyes and his trembling hands

His breath really smells and his penis is small
And he's always at home where there is alcohol

And he's proud of his scars from the times he's been tossed
And he gurgles and burps as he guzzles his sauce
In this town he is known as the drunken old man

Give a moment or two to the drunken old man
Cigarette in his mouth and a beer in his hand

He's been stumbling around, he's passed out where he stood
He's forgetting things lately, his memory's not good

And he sits in his room and he drinks a few more
While a puddle of vomit dries up on the floor
In this town he is known as the drunken old man

There was one time he took the pledge when he fell into a thorny hedge
But now you'll see him in a bar every night
He'll have a whiskey shot or two
And wash it down with a pint of brew
Then he'll keep on drinking vodka 'till it blurs his sight

I know of a place with a drunken old man
Who sits in a chair 'cause he can hardly stand
And you know he is done when his head hits the bar
Someone please take his keys if he heads for his car
And his liver is dying and his brain cells as well
And he's bald and he's crude and his feet really smell
And he'll go to the grave as a drunken old man

Yes there's always a place for the drunken old man
With his dick a small size and his brown spotted hands
He bruises his head and he bruises his balls
And he bruises his tale bone whenever he falls
He's so drunk when he pisses he misses the bowl
And they'll impound his car if he hits a lamp pole
And he'll always be known as the drunken old man