His name was Melvin
He was a trekkie
An acne-faced little twerp
With no social life at all
He could speak Klingon
He had a phaser
His mom picked out his clothes for him
And girls just frightened him
He dressed like Captain Kirk
He loves Mr. Spock
Live long and prosper,
Beam me up Scotty

At the Star Trek,
Star Trek convention
A geek's paradise for sure-a
At the Star Trek,
Star Trek convention
Dorks, geeks and losers in lame looking costumes
at the Star Trek---
Geeks everywhere

His name was Herbert
He liked Captain Sulu
On the Starship Enterprise
Sulu was quite a guy
So he went to
That lame convention
But on the way he met
His bully from school
So the wedgies flew
His glasses broke in two
Herbert got the crap beat out of him
I think thats funny

(Chorus)

So all these geeks love
Their dumb Star Trek show
So the Next Generation came along
"Horray" the nerds will say
Leonard Nemoy
and William Shatner
Are the ones to blame for this
They're gods to the nerds
Dungeons and Dragons can't compare
To the Starship Enterprise
There's just one thing I got to say
Star Wars is way more cool!

(Chorus)