He was born on a summer day nineteen fifty-one
And then the doctor said, "Ma'am, you have got a very ugly son"
His mother and father said what a homely boy
You'd think that we had learned, oh no, we never learned
We'll hide him for five years, then we'll send him to school
He'll have to learn to fight, 'cause the jokes will be cruel

Oh, oh what a homely boy
Oh what a homely boy
Oh what a homely boy

In the summer of fifty-three his mother brought him a sister
And she told him we must attend to her needs
She's so much cuter that you
Well he covered his face and he cried
Oh how could his parents have lied
Even if he was a homely son
He thought he was the only one

Oh, oh what a homely boy
Oh what a homely boy
Oh what a homely boy

He left home on a winter day, nineteen sixty-nine
And he hoped to find him a good plastic surgeon, while he still had the time
Well his sister grew up and she married a man
She gave him a son, oh yes an ugly son
They hid him for five years, they sent him to school
They taught him how to fight, 'cause the jokes will be cruel

Oh, oh what a homely boy
Oh what a homely boy
Oh what a homely boy

Oh, oh, oh, oh what a homely boy
Oh what a homely boy
Oh what a homely boy