On the first slice of bologna
I was spreading it with my knife
There were ham and cheese and mustard stains
There were sand-wiches of grain

The first thing I ate was tomato of course
And the meat, many pounds
The toast was hot, and the bread was rye
And the thing had pepper grounds

Before you have dessert, have a hoagie of grains
It tastes good and it's good for the brain
Before dessert, you can't have too many grains
'Cause the crumbs brush off and they never leave stains

Munch, munch, m-munch m-munch munch, munch m-munch, munch, munch
Munch, munch, m-munch m-munch munch, munch m-munch, munch, munch

After two bites of the hoagie's bun
A pickle poked out its head
After three bites there's an oil run
And my stomach still needs to be fed
Well the growls it made left my neighbors afraid
So I bit and munched on the bread

Before you gouge into dessert, have a hoagie of grains
It tastes good and I can-not refrain
Before dessert, you can't have too many grains
'Cause it's good for you so jump on the grain train

Munch, munch, munch, m-munch m-munch munch, munch m-munch, munch, munch
Munch, munch, munch, m-munch m-munch munch, munch m-munch, munch, munch

(Instrumental: Jelly beats from the Deli Meats w/ Three Cheez Pleaz on Bongos)

After nine bites, I sat so happily, there was a dessert in front of me
There were chips and cream and choc'late strings
And delicious sugar cane
The notion of a dessert with it's choc'laty bed
And a cherry that's high above
You can forget it, all the health stuff I said
'Cause if you're fat there's much more to love

Trust me
Go binge on the dessert, disregard all those grains
If it's sweet then you cannot abstain
Go have dessert, go get ice-creamy filled cranes
When the skinny shower, they fall down the drain

Munch, munch, munch, m-munch m-munch munch, munch m-munch, munch, munch
Munch, munch, munch, m-munch m-munch munch, munch m-munch, munch, munch
(More 'munch' lines, then fade)