At the worst arts hub of learning
I was looking at squalls of strife
There were fans and nerds and jocks at rinks
There were bands that drilled at links
The first drink I had got me by, I got buzzed
Then some rye did I down
The teachers taught and their brows were high
But their hair was dull and brown

I've been in attendance at a course with no grades
I held books that I found in a trade
At the lectures I would pretend to be swayed
But they gave no funds, so to betting I strayed

La, la ...

After two games in my quest for funds
My wins began to earn bread
After three games I impressed and stunned
I was crooked as a lizard's treads
Grabbed the glory of gold from a wizard who glowed
Made him mad to think he'd been bled

You see I've been in attendance at a course with no grades
My stealth shook up the clowns I dismayed
From September until December I played
'Cause it took that long for my bills to be paid

La, la ...

Wrapped in fine suede, I left the course with glee
My professor had learned from me
I built plants and firms and docks and wings
I bought land and mills and bling
Devotion isn't effort when your wife stuns the crowd
And she smirks at the guys she shuns
The girl's so pretty that my heart's made to pound
As this woman thrills like no one

You see I'd been in attendance at a course with no grades
My wealth took me through towns on parade
My professor was a pretender by trade
So I raised no funds for to gift him some aid

La, la ...