It was late in December, the sky full of clouds
I walked around, where there weren't any crowds
Noticed some motion up there in the sky
And then I started to rise

Up to the ship of space aliens
They had tiny heads with great big eyes
Space aliens
And their assignment was to probe me through the night

Well I'm not the kind to make a big scene
Yet I had to tell what they did to me
But people snickered like it was a joke
So I'm just gonna wait, until they're poked

By kinky space aliens
The tools they're using violate our... rights
Those space aliens
And their assignment is to probe us through the night

Why do aliens travel the vastness of space
Just to anally inspect the whole human race
Is it a game that they play?

[alien abduction noises]

Well your outlook is changing now that they kidnapped you
And we are exchanging tales of backdoor rue
They're fully focused on our bottom line
When they scrutinize where the sun don't shine

All those space aliens
They're fascinated by our exit pipe
Those space aliens
And all our our problems are behind us through the night

[more alien abduction noises]