Stanza I.
He'll take you back in time to play some games that suck
And say he'd rather eat a turd mixed with mock duck.
What were they thinking when they made
These games that suck so bad?
Few NES games satisfy or make him glad.

Refrain I.
Whenever you see Jimmy playing games on NES
Or Sega Genesis, you can bet he won't play the best,
But instead, he will play the worst games of all time
Then he'll call them atrocities of all mankind.

Stanza II.
He knows they rip off gamers and don't care one bit.
All he can say about the CD-I is: "SHIT!"
He will play Bible games that suck
And Hotel Mario;
He knows that Zelda CD-Is all surely blow.

Refrain II.
Whenever you see Jimmy playing games for 3DO
Like Plumbers Don't Wear Ties, you know he'd want a buffalo
Take a dump in his ear as he screams at the top
Of his lungs for these insipid games all to stop.

Whenever you see Jimmy playing games like Simon's Quest,
You know he's putting his resolve and patience to the test.
When he can't land the plane when he's playing Top Gun,
He'll scream "ASS!" and then wish that for once he was done.
Yes, he'll scream, but they're great videos, every one! (3x)