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Song Parodies -> "TCU"
Original Song Title:
"Voulez-Vous"
(MP3)Original Performer:
ABBA
Parody Song Title:
"TCU"
Parody Written by:
Edward Genereux
The Lyrics
Title song from the disco opera "TCU." Having seen Texas controversially clinch their spot in the BCS title game, I make the short trip from Arlington, Texas to the TCU campus in neighbouring Fort Worth the day after the Big 12 title game. Walking into Daniel-Meyer Coliseum (the Horned Frogs' basketball arena; BCS Selection Sunday is usually televised in participants' fieldhouses or other arenas), I am greeted by a grieving Andy Dalton (TCU QB since 2007) and head coach Gary Patterson, who is sharing Dalton's grief. Perhaps the most apocalyptic sight is eventual Ted Hendricks Award-winning DE Jerry Hughes, Mountain West Conference Defencive Player of the Year, who has rent his purple jersey and is wailing at 120 decibels so that I have to put on earplugs. I share the sorrow of all three, even though I do not express it: Along with Cincinnati (featured in the next song), TCU have been wrongfully left out of the national title chase.
Andy Dalton.
Efforts are for naught;
We could have been the champions.
What has this snub brought?
Gary Patterson.
Nothing but our grief;
I think the Big 12 umpire
Is a goddamn thief.
Jerry Hughes.
What could have been ain't here--
The Mountain West we won this year
Has brought us disgrace.
We could have gone for more;
The BCS has left us sore!
We all grieve this day.
Edward Genereux.
TCU, I too feel like grieving;
I do feel the snub
'Cos the three of you were robbed.
TCU, it's become 'bout money;
Something we must do
Is remind them about you, TCU.
Andy Dalton.
Edward, you are right.
We must fight bowl committees
Ev'ry day and night.
Gary Patterson.
Andy, I agree.
I wish the bowl officials
Would comfort us three.
Jerry Hughes.
I wish 'twere never so
That BCS was never slow
To acknowledge facts.
Now we must take up arms
And do the status quo great harm.
Be it ne'er intact!
Edward Genereux.
TCU, that's what I was thinking.
Let us use the pen,
Make football so great again.
TCU, I will write a letter
To the BCS,
Force them our grief to redress.
The letter.
Dear Board of BCS,
We want our grievances redressed.
We are sick and tired
Of this year and before.
You sure have cash but you want more;
We will have you fired.
TCU now demands your entrails,
But you will be spared
If you a playoff prepare.
TCU wants a BCS chance,
Which they do deserve;
But now you've thrown for a curve TCU.
(Ad lib, then fade)
Efforts are for naught;
We could have been the champions.
What has this snub brought?
Gary Patterson.
Nothing but our grief;
I think the Big 12 umpire
Is a goddamn thief.
Jerry Hughes.
What could have been ain't here--
The Mountain West we won this year
Has brought us disgrace.
We could have gone for more;
The BCS has left us sore!
We all grieve this day.
Edward Genereux.
TCU, I too feel like grieving;
I do feel the snub
'Cos the three of you were robbed.
TCU, it's become 'bout money;
Something we must do
Is remind them about you, TCU.
Andy Dalton.
Edward, you are right.
We must fight bowl committees
Ev'ry day and night.
Gary Patterson.
Andy, I agree.
I wish the bowl officials
Would comfort us three.
Jerry Hughes.
I wish 'twere never so
That BCS was never slow
To acknowledge facts.
Now we must take up arms
And do the status quo great harm.
Be it ne'er intact!
Edward Genereux.
TCU, that's what I was thinking.
Let us use the pen,
Make football so great again.
TCU, I will write a letter
To the BCS,
Force them our grief to redress.
The letter.
Dear Board of BCS,
We want our grievances redressed.
We are sick and tired
Of this year and before.
You sure have cash but you want more;
We will have you fired.
TCU now demands your entrails,
But you will be spared
If you a playoff prepare.
TCU wants a BCS chance,
Which they do deserve;
But now you've thrown for a curve TCU.
(Ad lib, then fade)
As mentioned in the top commentary, Cincinnati's grievances will be covered in the next song, which parodies "I Have a Dream."
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