Does your group have room for banjo?
I'm a little down at heel and desp'rate for a paying gig
What you really need's a banjo!
I can guarantee with me on board, your band will make it big
I can also play kazoo and comb, and I'll provide my own hay bale and pig

Tell me, where's the love for banjo?
All I have to do is whip it out and I can clear a room
Gals ain't getting' hot for banjo.
Little chance of getting laid by making nubile cuties swoon
Not unless they're from Kentucky, own a still and use "unleaded" for perfume

Seems that if you're into Rock 'n' Roll
There's not much call.for banjo
If you wanna be hip-hop or punk
You're gonna flunkwith banjo
Wondrin' why that Dave Grohl from the Foos
Hasn't called yet
I've ignored all music fads and trends
Gave up my friendsfor banjo

Why'd my parents pay for banjo?
When I wanted to be Jimmy Hendrix or perhaps Keith Moon?
"Happy Birthday! Here's your banjo!"
Danga-dang dang dang dang dang dangwell at least it's not bassoon
I'll play weddings, wakes, bar mitzvahs: anywhere that you might need a pluckin' tune

If you're grooving to live RnB
You won't see meno banjo!
And if dancehall reggae floats you boat
For sure, I won'twith banjo!
Though I'm sad, I cannot play the blues;
It sounds like s**t.
I remind folks of Deliverance
And they can't danceto banjo

Frank Sinatra, Cher and Springsteen (Bruce)
They had no usefor banjo
It's an instrument you will not see
On MTVno banjo!
Though I'm sad, I cannot play the blues;
It sounds like s**t.
For this racket I can't make amends
My "axe" offendsoh banjo!