My Grandma's started rapping
My Grandad's wearing skirts
My brother is a junkie
My mom's a friggin' flirt
Dad's a bit dyslexic
Our dog's got A. D. D.
Thank Dog for Jerry Springer
Thank God for my T V

My T V.. my T V... I just love T V
Can't wait to see what's on T V

That's a touching good story...
Go tell it to the world....
Naaa!...Just tell it to Dr Phil

My wife's got a crush on Rosie
She's always fighting mad
Her friend ran off with Jose'
So now she's dating Dad
The neighbors are half crazy
They've joined a secret cult
I blame Jerry Springer
I'd think It's all his fault!

Pee off Doctor Philski... you're really a quack
I'd love to come on your show and give you a smack
Pee off Doctor Philski... you're so full of it
Deep down in side you... you're a twit.

You're a twit, you're a twit you're a twit twit twit
Deep down inside you...you're a twit.

"In the opininion of Dr Phil this family is deprived because
they don't come from a normal home!"
"Hey we're depraved on account we've been deprived"...
"So take em' to Judge Judy"

My daughter's taking classes
On how to find success
Her teacher just went bankrupt
Her credit's such a mess
I got this letter last week
Declining us and formal
Can't be on 'Jerry Springer'
Because we are too normal!

Pee off Judge Judy... and don't make me beg
I'd love to come on your show and pee on your leg
Pee off Judge Judy... and don't be a bitch
Deep down in side you... you're a witch

You're a witch, you're a witch you're a witch witch witch
Deep down inside you...you're a witch

"In Judy's opinion this family does'nt need a Judge at all...
Disfunction in the family is a merely a social desease"....
'Hey we've got a social desease"
"So take em' to Larry King"

Dear Kindly Larry Kinky
They say we ain't too smart
We're always watching T V
We watch it ale'carte
Degenerate and Oprah
Helen and Winfrey
No wonder we're all crazy
With you lot on T V

"You're no good, you're no good, you're no earthly good
Why we watch....I just never understood"

The trouble is we're lazy
The trouble is we drink
They think we're friggin' crazy
We think your programs stink
You say you're networks growing
You must be friggin' stoned
Kinky.. you've got... troubles of your own.....
Pee off Larry Kinky
Go down on your knees
Cos' no one in their right mind watches you on T V
Pee off Dr Philski..... go away....Shoo!
Dear Dr Philski..... Screw you!