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Song Parodies -> "Kwan's Not There"

Original Song Title:

"She's Not There"

Original Performer:

The Zombies

Parody Song Title:

"Kwan's Not There"

Parody Written by:

Ravyn Rant

The Lyrics

Two-time World Silver medalist Sasha Cohen won her first National Ladies' title Saturday night in St. Louis. You wouldn't have guessed it from the coverage.
They won't stop talking about her
She pulled her groi-in
They won't stop talking about her
She might miss Turin

They showed fourteen other skaters
Yes Sasha won, but they don't care
It's just one big waste of tape 'cause
Kwan's not there!

Watch while they tell you 'bout the way she looked
The way she skated, the styles of her hair
What will Dick Button do? Will Peggy Fleming cry?
Kwan's not there!

No, they won't stop talking about her
How she should get her bye
They won't stop talking about her
Can't let the franchise die

They showed fourteen other skaters
Yes Sasha won, but they don't care
Better watch your Vera Wang stock
Kwan's not there!

Watch while they tell you 'bout the way she looked
The way she skated, the styles of her hair
What will the network do? Is this the Seventh Sign?
Kwan's not there!

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 5

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

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 5   5
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User Comments

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alvin rhodes - January 16, 2006 - Report this comment
good one
PMS - January 16, 2006 - Report this comment
Didn't see the coverage of this event, but I sure get ticked anytime a non-competitor gets more coverage than the winner.
Ravyn Rant - January 17, 2006 - Report this comment
You and me both, PMS! And thanks to you and Alvin.

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