He's Merdivorous

TV News Viewers:
He speaks but all that he says is dyspeptic,
Perhaps because his testes are so small.
His eyes are crazed--wish he were narcoleptic,
Then we would not hear his incessant bawl.

Chorus:
Seamy, mucky, sleazy, stealie.
Seamy, sucky, sleazy, stealie.

Viewers:
We hear him rant about his perturbations.
Give him enough rope. . .but he still walks free.
This criminal should face incarceration,
And the members of his crooked family.

Chorus:
Seamy, mucky, sleazy, stealie.
Seamy, sucky, feces-eatie.

Viewers:
He lies, he cheats, he steals,
He talks a brown streak.
He cajoles and he wheedles when he squawks.
His machine--Mafia instantiation.
And we've noticed that he minces when he walks.

Chorus:
He is merdivorous.
He is merdivorous.

You'll be stunned when you see what he's eating;
Never gets enough, he's underfed.
His merdivorourness is not fleeting;
Even has it for a snack in bed.

Tom D:
Glistening with poo. I'm ready to lick!
Grazing on doo, a meal to eat!
Swallowing stew from your hind fountain,
I'll have a light mint when complete.

Right behind you—eagerly swillin'
From you; out it is pourin'.
From you—digested chitlins.
To you, I'm gonna bore in.

Chorus:
He is lapping when he's fed;
He wants more stew.


Of Tom D. Be Leery

Of Tom D. be leery,
Don't let him get near you.
He'll try to steal from you,
He might try to rear you.