slim ones...thin ones...trim ones...fit ones
wond'rin' what i'll do if there's none in sight
dumpy...frumpy...lumpy and bumpy
fat little girls all waddle by
too much meat on their bones
when i see those gals, i groan
i remember what pa said

he said 'fie fie fie...no huge thighs
if her figure's good, go ahead
fie fie fie...waist too wide ?
they're no fun to have in your bed
don't you try
if they're wider than they're high
just keep your head
or you're dead"

sit ups...chin ups...low fat...no fat
have salad bar so you'll stay real thin
eatin' ?...drinkin' ?...tummy ain't shrinkin' ?
i'm in a bloated crowd, so bereft
and then one came by
she was wider than she's high
she's lumb'rin' like a heavy girl would

she was past two-thirty
and actin' all flirty
i tried to run away
but then she had me prone
she said i'd date her
and maybe have to mate her
she said she liked the way that i was skin and bones
i said why not try
though she's wider than she's high
jumped into bed
now we're wed