Leaving from the station in London
Riding on the Hogwarts Express
Potter was incensed, said, "I'll pick my own friends"
And then I got bit by some redhead kid's pet

Cripes, that kid is Ron Weasley
His rat is scawny and mean
The way things are going
He's gonna stupify me

Finally made the dungeon at Hogwarts
Ron and I got into a scrape
Then all in one motion, I wrecked Weasley's potion
And now he's in detention with Snape

Cripes, you know that darn Weasley
He is as mad as can be
The way things are going
He's gonna stupify me

Came to Hgwarts with his magic wand broken
Wearing dirty socks for a week
I said, "Your clothes clash, too bad you ain't got no cash
And yo, your dress robes make you look like a geek!"

Cripes, you know that darn Weasley
He is as poor as can be
His wand has been broken
But I ain't losing no sleep

Saving all his money for used butterbeer
Getting all his clothes from charity
Last night his mom said,
"You can't have new threads
You can't have nothing new because you're poor--HA!"

Weasley's now the Gryffindor keeper
He stinks so bad he can't save a thing
Was born in a bin, he'll make sure we win
That's why all of the Slytherins sing

Yes! You know our boy Weasley
Cannot block a single ring
He lets in the Quaffle
He is the Slytherin King

Caught the final game against Ravenclaw
Weasley was all over the pitch
He must have been hot, cause he stopped every shot
And his sister, she beat Cho to the snitch

Cripes! You know that darn Weasley
He blocked all three of the rings
He captured the Quaffle
He is the Gryffindor King
He captured the Quaffle
He is the Gryffindor King