Oh, it's a pain when I start telling jokes and no one laughs
Or when the boy I like tells me he's got to go
And when salesmen can't understand "no"
Fits I want to throw

When I'm late there's always frost to scrape off of my car
Or I forget something and have to double back
Then the Geo stalls on railroad tracks
Or when girls complain, 'cause I'm vain

It's a pain when I get hairspray in my eyes
Don't like "gifts" from birds as they fly by
Can't stand a hairy back

And it's a pain when toilet paper is stuck to my ass
Or when a date finds my shrine built for Charlie Sheen
Sometimes I say what I don't really mean
Like a nasty dream

(instrumental)

It's a pain when I still fail after eight tries
I trip in front of sexy guys
An itch on my mid-back

When watching indie films I don't know what they're all about
It's 5:15 and my boss says I've got to stay
I want to swim but I can't find the bay
Oh what can I say?

And it's a pain when my friend Vivian thinks I'm a bitch
No matter what I say it's never the right thing
She should know by now that she's my Queen
She's my favorite girl, in the world

It's a pain when I'm out of office supplies
Or when people choose to tell me lies
Hate when I can't relax

It's a pain to find a cockroach in my fries
Gotta pee--pants have a button fly
It's a pain!