I watched the news today, Oh boy,
All other channels were just old reruns,
I should have TIVOed Just For Laughs,
The news was such a gaffe,
Like CSI in drag.

I've fried my mind on MTV.
I started laughing at test patterns too.
A crowd of people call my phone.
I've heard that ring before,
But I was sure that answering would only make me miss ER.

The movie channel saved the day.
The wicked witch just lost her ruby shoes.
A crowd of people knew the end;
But I just had to look,
For I can't read a book.
I love my TV on.

Woke up, grabbed the remote,
Watched A Tribute to Love Boat.
Found my way downstairs, and watched The New Wife Swap,
And looking up, it was time for Sports Center.
Through an infomercial sat;
Wrote this song in seconds flat.
On my way upstairs, I almost missed a line.
But things went fine, 'cause Closed Captioning was slow.

I watched an ad today, Oh boy:
Four dozen blades now give a closer shave.
And after that was Family Feud;
And then some Alex dude -
Some guy on Jeopardy - he knows how many holes in a golf ball.
I love my TV on.